Thumbs Up!

Quote of the Week:

“It's a fun atmosphere. It feels like it's at least one half KU and one half Colorado fans."

- Christian Moody, University of Kansas, forward/center, giving out some props to the rowdy, loud, and sprited Jayhawk faithful after Kansas defeated the Buffalose in Boulder last week.

CU, which averages a flacid 3,000 fans per game, only sells out one game per year, the Kansas game, and we showed-up 5,000 strong to make the Coors Event Center - Allen Fieldhouse: West. I’m proud of all you fellow Jayhawks fans!
Buffalose fans should be embarrassed to have their home court turned into a homecourt advantage for the VISITING TEAM!

Movie/TV Show of the Week:

Father of the Bride and Father of the Bride II

Unlike too many men, I have no problem openly admitting I enjoy chick flicks. Now I am not talking about films like Under the Tuscan Sun, that Traveling Ya-Ya Sisterhood Pants movie, or Kate and Leopold; I’m talking about good movies that happen to be chick flicks like. Love Actually or Notting Hill.

So the other night after watching an episode of The Soprano’s, HBO showed Father of the Bride I and II, back-to-back.

(For the record, I did not spend 4+ hours watching a Father of the Bride marathon.)

Anyway, from the parts I did catch, I can officially say - and say with confidence - that the relationship George (Steve Martin’s character) has with his daughter Annie (Kimberly Williams) is very, very uncomfortable. From the way he longingly gazes at her, to his possessiveness, to his random jealous temper tantrums, to his constant pouting, to his long-winded incestus monologues – I got so seriously creeped out by Steve Martin that I couldn’t even enjoy the movies. Steve Martin was like an insecure 10th grader trying to figure out if the girl he has a crush on likes him. And that basketball scene in Father of the Bride between him and his daughter, is like watching one of your uncles hit on your attractive, college-aged cousin during Thanksgiving dinner, while the rest of the family tries their best not to make eye contact.

I’m not a parent, so I am left wondering: Do dads really feel this way about their daughters? If so, I really, really want a son.

Besides that, Martin Short, and the plot in the sequel, I thought the movies were really great.

Underrated/Overrated Thing of the Week:

Underrated: Thumbs

(Now everyone collectively pull your head out of the gutter – thank you)

Thumbs are the key to every good massage and few too many people realize this – especially you women. I will concede that I am not the national champion when it comes to massages, but I am in the Sweet Sixteen. So let me offer a few suggestions when it comes to thumbs and massages:

1) Thumbs are the strongest of your fingers, use them to your advantage.

2) You are not going to break us and probably not going hurt us either, so use as much thumb strength as possible.

3) Us men have big, strong muscles and it takes a little bit more than a caress to loosen them up and remove knots. So when giving us a massage, don’t pretend you are petting your cat as you watch Sex in the City, pretend that you are trying to level out stiff cookie dough … or something like that.

4) Don’t get overzealous with your thumbs and accidentally pinch us or apply the Vulcan Neck Grip. Ouch.

5) Don’t focus and rub just our neck and shoulders. Our biceps, lower back, mid-back, upper-butt-region and head need attention, too – show them that you care.

6) I repeat, the thumb is the key to a good massage. If you don’t use it effectively, your massage will suck. No exceptions!

Unanswered Question of the Week:

Are you suppose to tip the people at Sonic who bring the food to your car?

Metaphorical Kick in the Balls of the Week:

The Kansas Jayhawks blowing late second half leads to both the Kansas State Wildcats and the Missouri Tigers within a three day period.

Song of the Week:

“Believe” by Cher

Before you start wondering about my musical sanity, let me say I saw a commercial early in the morning advertising the Greatest Hits of the 90s, or something like that, and the c.d. included the song “Believe.” I wasn’t listening to a Cher c.d. by choice – really I wasn’t. I promise. I wasn’t.

For those of you who don’t know the tune I am referring to (I mean, how could you not?), it’s the Cher song that goes:

Do you belieeeeeeve in life after love?

The next part is tricky though, she either sings:

I can feel something inside myself – I really don’t think it’s strong enough…

OR

I can feel something inside me say(ing) – I really don’t think it’s strong enough…

It’d be easy to Google the lyrics and find out the truth, but I don’t want to know what the answer is. I remember being drunk in college and hearing that song, and debating the lyrics with my old buddies. And recently, while in Vegas, Ryan and I deliberated what she was saying while enjoying a meal at Olives in The Bellagio. I guess just like the Kennedy assassination, some questions are best left unanswered.

What the hell am I talking about? I can’t believe I just wrote that last paragraph. I really hope this conversation hasn’t caused you to have a total loss of respect for me, musically or otherwise. Okay, I am going to listen “Scenes From an Italian Restaurant” by Billy Joel, to go feel better about myself.

Relationship/Dating Thought of the Week:

I’m continually asked by my family and friends the status of my dating life. Fair enough. I know a third of them are asking because they care about me, a third of them are asking because they are itching for additional family members; be-it in the form of a: sister-in-law, a grandchild, or other, and the other third are still trying to conclude whether or not I am gay.

But there is this weird, yet strangely enjoyable, dating purgatory that exists between girlfriend status and friendship status. It’s that period of time when you have gone on more than a handful of dates, the other person has met most of your friends, there has been ample physical interaction, you can genuinely relax when you are at their place, you tell some of your edgier stories and past relationship experiences, and you start honestly showcasing your “real” personality.

Now it is easy for other single people in my age group to understand the philosophies, geography, and characteristics that accompany Dante’s Divine Dating Purgatory because they’ve all recently been there; but trying to explain this limbo-land to a married person or someone in their 40’s, is like trying to explain the appeal of Napoleon Dynamite. So I have to put into terms they’ll understand.

You can’t say you’re “dating” the person because dating implies commitment – which, good or bad, you don’t have yet. Saying your “seeing” the person sounds impersonal and outdated. I suppose you can say you’re “hanging out” or “spending time together”, but that sounds like code for watching Brokeback Mountain with your best guy friend. So what do you say that can be understood by all, yet keep you out of an unintentional DTR (defining the relationship)? Usually I settle on the “we’re getting to know each other” tag. Safe. Simple. Open-ended. Vague. But if anyone else out there has any good dating titles/adjectives that have historically worked for them – I’d love to hear it.