Welcome to the Las Vegas Travel Journal

I’m officially changing the name of this blog from The Whole Year Inn to the Las Vegas Travel Journal. That’s right, I’m going to Vegas again (this time for my 30th birthday).

I freakin’ sound like Forrest Gump going to the White House and meeting the president. But instead of saying, “I got to go the White House again … and meet the President of the United States again,” I get to say things like “I lost $200 on a blackjack table and got drunk off of a drink shaped like a cowboy boot at 10:30 in the morning again … and I got to grind with Paris Hilton at The Palms again.”

So, in honor of traveling and vacations ….

Underrated/Overrated Thing of the Week:

Overrated - The Mile High Club

Nothing says passion like having sex in a cramped public restroom, er, lavatory, while 200 of your fellow passengers know exactly why you and your significant-other decided to randomly go to the bathroom together in the middle of the flight.

I’m not lazy. I have ambitions in the forbidden/adventurous sex genre, but I’ve never been particularly motivated or tempted to “wave my wheat” at 35,000 feet, in a tiny room with creepy blue water and a stainless steel toilet. I understand some of my complaints are all part of the appeal in obtaining membership in the Mile High Club, but it still seems overrated to me - something that sounds totally cool in conversations with your friends and in your imagination, but ultimately very disappointing in reality … kinda like most games of truth or dare.

If anyone out there has any experience, or knows anyone who is in the Mile High Club, I’d love to hear some stories and perhaps they might change my mind. But until then, having sex in an airplane lavatory sounds just as exotic as having sex in a Greyhound bus bathroom or a New Jersey Transit train bathroom. Ick.

Economic Theory of the Week:

Can anyone imagine making travel reservations nowadays without the Internet? I know we used to, but how in the world did people make hotel reservations or plane reservations without spending seven and half hours on the phone or having to visit a travel agent? How in the heck did people even get all the right phone numbers to call? If I had to make Vegas reservations without the Internet, how would I round-up all the different numbers to all the different hotels?

Anyway, I think the reason the airline industry is going bankrupt is because they can’t screw the consumer anymore. The airlines can blame 9/11 and fuel prices and bad management all they want, but I think the real reason they are losing money is because we passengers are more educated. Before the Internet, it was a monumental pain in the ass to call United and Delta and Continental, to obtain prices and flight times over the phone. Now we can simply visit their Web sites or travel Web sites (like Travelocity), and quickly compare all the airlines’ offerings and even receive emails when prices go down. The days of some customer service representative telling us that the $300 flight from Denver to Vegas is the “best they can do”, when changing departure times, staying or leaving early, or checking a competitor’s airline, could easily result in getting a flight for $158 round trip - are over and done. Airlines can’t take advantage of the colossal hassle it was to keep calling back every airline to constantly check flight times and prices. Ten years ago, we believed the major airlines when they said their exorbitant price were the best; mostly because it was difficult to prove them wrong. Now when United says that to us, all we have to do is check Continental’s Web site, look at Expedia, and scan what smaller airlines, like Frontier, JetBlue or Southwest, are offering, to see if United’s deal is actually superior. We have all become intelligent consumers; no longer can the airlines stick-it-to-us because of our lack of time and information, and subsequently overcharge us. Instead, it’s easy, convenient and efficient to find the best deal and the lowest price; and I think that is part of the reason airlines have lost money since the Internet become prominent.

On behalf of all air-travelers, thank you Al Gore.

Best Attempt at Fun Extinguishing of the Week:

“This is way too funny! You just put on your gay ass blog that you have a Huge Forehead! This is Killing me! Good job Retard!”

-- Uncle Rico

Thanks for that intelligent contribution to the discussion.

Uncle Rico, I hope you and Tom Izzo enjoy your next fishing trip to Brokeback Mountain together. Who knows, maybe Coach Izzo will catch a fish without a “true fishing pole.”

By the way, Kansas has four national championships – 1988, 1952, 1923 and 1922 (Though in fairness, the 22’ and 23’ championships were awarded prior to the tournament being in place – but count nonetheless).

Michigan State has two – 2000 and 1979.

Quote of the Week:

“Do you want that coconut? Do I want that coconut? Basically, I want that *ucking coconut!”
-- Derrick, on Gauntlet II – Real World/Road Rules Challenge

The Tracy Flick Moral and Ethical Question of the Week:

Is it wrong to lie about the number of people staying in a hotel room, thus lowering the price?

(What I don’t get is; if Ryan and I pay $100 per night for a hotel room that has two beds, why should the charge go up based on having two more people in the room? Aren’t we receiving the same services from the hotel room regardless of the occupancy? Why does an extra person cost $35 more? What does that $35 pay for? I understand enforcing a limit on the amount of people in a room – so you don’t end up with 20 college kids stuffed into one room – but if the room has 2 queen beds, the room price should be inclusive up to four people (two per bed). If the suite has three beds, the room rate should be good up to six people, etc. It seems excessive to charge more money when the room is designed to handle that many people in the first place.

One more thing, hotels often say “kids stay free.” How are kids sleeping in a hotel room any less expensive than adult; especially since adults tend to be cleaner and less likely to spill stuff on carpets and comforters?)

The Day of the Week: Sunday

Rock Chalk, Jayhawks! Led by three freshmen, two sophomores and a senior who has already graduated and who has the nickname JHawk; the Kansas Jayhawks defeated the cocky and rapidly becoming annoying Texas Longhorns to win the Big 12 tournament. Not only did the Jayhawks avenge the 25 points loss to Texas two weeks ago. Not only did the Jayhawks shut-up the trash talking Longhorn cheerleaders. Not only did the Jayhawks turn Texas center Brad Buckman a disturbingly light shade of pink. But they also earned a #4 seed (though they should have been a #3 seed) in the NCAA tournament, showed that Bill Self deserves consideration for National Coach of the Year, showed that Texas cries like the bulimic chick from the Real World: Key West after every call that doesn’t go their way, and that Kansas is the best team in the Big 12.

And just like Kansas showed Oklahoma State, Nebraska and Texas who the best is; after a two year layoff, The Soprano’s showed CSI, The West Wing and every other show on TV, that they are still king. I won’t spoil the first episode for anyone, but as Ryan so eloquently put it, “Waiting for the next episode will be harder than waiting the last two years.” After The Soprano’s, HBO debuted Big Love – a story about a polygamous family starring Bill Paxton. Maybe because I was still in shock-n-awe about The Soprano’s, but going from a mafia show based in New Jersey, to a show about a Mormon family in Utah was a rough transition. It was like driving 75 miles an hour in third gear – it didn’t feel right. I think what the show needs is more shots of Bill Paxton in his tighty-whities, or even better, more shots of him in his tighty-whities after he has taken his Viagra. Or as Ryan so eloquently put it, “I didn’t think you could make having three wives look un-cool, but Bill Paxton has done it.”