What We Learned

So the college basketball season is over … and so is the Gauntlet II. Fortunately, we were treated to the boring-est Final Four in the history of the NCAA tournament and the most anticlimactic final challenge MTV could come up with to hold us over until the next season. Thanks a lot, guys.

(I guess having George Mason in the Final Four and having an eating challenge decide the winner of The Gauntlet wasn’t such a good idea after all.)

Anyway, since the Real World: Key West is the most un-fun piece of entertainment since Andy Kaufman decided to read an entire book to an audience, I decided this would be a good time to do a post-mortem on the Kansas Jayhawk basketball season.

(Two quick things: 1) This will be last Jayhawk post until mid-October, and 2) For those of you who don’t know, the next Real World reason will be in Denver!)

What We Learned From This College Basketball Season

Despite the Bradley loss, this season was an unquestioned success

Watching Kansas win the Big 12 tournament and tie for the regular season Big 12 title, it’s easy to forget that this team was not suppose to be very good. The only returning starter from last year was free-throw shooting champion Christian Moody, they were potentially going to be starting four freshman, they kicked-off the season with a 3-4 record, lost to Kansas State at home, blew at game at Missouri, and seemed destined to be the basketball equivalent of the Nebraska Cornhusker football program.

And then before we knew it, they win 15 out of their last 16 games, Christian Moody becomes a male cheerleader wearing a Kansas jersey, upset Oklahoma and Texas, cracked the top 20 and earn a #4 seed in the tournament. Not too shabby for a team whose seven best players are freshman and sophomores.

Any Jayhawk fan who complains about this season is as spoiled as Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and the entire cast of Laguna Beach – combined!

Bill Self, not Roy Williams, deserved to win Coach of the Year

North Carolina was 23-8. Kansas was 25-7. Both lost their top seven scorers from last year. Both were exceptionally young and talented. Both beat powerhouse teams (UNC beat Duke, Kansas beat Texas) during the season, and both teams lost early on in the tournament. BUT, two of North Carolina’s top three scorers were upperclassman! Bill Self didn’t have that luxury. He had to work entirely with freshman and sophomores. In point of fact, three out of Kansas’ top four scorers were freshman, and the one who wasn’t (Russell Robinson) is a sophomore. Not to mention, Kansas won the Big 12 tournament and tied for the Big 12 regular season tournament, two things North Carolina didn’t do in the ACC. Coach Self outperformed Coach Williams this year in every category except North Carolina bias. I guess that’s why Roy won the award.

This years loss to Bradley didn’t hurt nearly as much as last years loss to Bucknell

This years team was young, inexperienced and just happy to be there – kinda like me going on any dates during high school. Last years team was littered with seasoned players, who had achieved 2 Final Fours and an Elite 8 appearance – there was no reason to lose to Bucknell. This years team was suppose to be playing in the NIT. Yes, it was painful and disappointing to lose in the first round two consecutive years for the first time in Kansas history, but this team overachieved all season long – it’s hard to stay bitter at such a young and likeable team.

That being said, Coach Self better produce some tournament wins next year. Otherwise, he might be headed to The Gauntlet.

Russell Robinson is cute

Personally, I don’t think he’s attractive … mostly because I’m heterosexual. But according to a lot of female Jayhawk fans, he’s quite good looking. Evidently it’s because of his baby-face and missing eyebrows. Congrats Russell!

Micah Downs is a pansy and a wuss

Who transfers from one of the most prestigious basketball programs in the country because he doesn’t want to practice to earn playing time and misses his girlfriend? For the love of God, Micah, you’re a Jayhawk basketball player, you can have any girl in entire state of Kansas and half of Missouri. Lose the girlfriend in Washington, listen to Coach Self and hustle in practice and you’ll be on ESPN twenty times a year, while dating half the cheerleading squad, on your way to the NBA, and be treated like royalty in Lawrence.

Nope. Instead you choose to transfer to Gonzaga and lose a year of eligibility? Nice move, genius.

Texas has an endless supply of tall, white, blonde basketball players who are surprisingly good

Every year since I was a freshman (12 years ago – gulp), Texas has had one, two or three of those guys on their team. I don’t know if it’s the same three guys in disguise, if they are all related, or if Texas dominates the tall, white, blonde, recruiting race, or what, but they produce these guys like Queen Latifah makes unwatchable movies.

Christian Moody is really smart and took really hard classes this year

Just in case you didn’t know from the Jayhawk television broadcasts in which the announcers felt the need to repeatedly tell you that game after game. Also according the announcers, evidently, Mario Chalmers is from Alaska, Sasha Kaun was born in Russia, and Brandon Rush’s brothers played college basketball, too. Oh, and the sun also rises in the east – allegedly.

Christian Moody is NOT the guy you want shooting free throws in clutch situations


Sasha Kaun delivered a surprisingly effective performance in Can’t Hardly Wait, but was slightly annoying in Empire Records


Russell Robinson is a consistent jump shot away from being a ridiculously dominant all-around player


Julian Wright is one consistent offensive move away from being unstoppable


Mario Chalmers is the most likeable guy on the team. You gotta love his attitude (even when Coach Self is chewing him out) and how hard he works on both sides of the floor


Substituting Brandon Rush for J.R. Giddens on this years team was like substituting Al Pacino for Robert Redford to play Michael Corleone in The Godfather – it changed everything


Iowa State point guard Curtis Stinson is a thug and Russell Robinson’s bitch

Curtis will be joining Micah Downs on this years ESPN All-Whiners Team and The Sporting News’ Guys Who Talk a Lot of Trash and Can’t Back It Up Team.


The Jayhawks lack of either a consistent outside or inside game is what doomed them in the tournament. Kansas was at its best in transition, not in the half court offense


They need to make the Jayhawk on the football field at Memorial Stadium proportionally just as large as the Jayhawk on the basketball court at Allen Fieldhouse


Mario Chalmers was the best player on the team. Russell Robinson was the MVP. And Julian Wright was the most improved and most likely to dunk on every opposing player over 6’10. Speaking of …


With some work, Julian Wright is capable of doing anything on the basketball court. Next year I wouldn’t be surprised if he played all five positions, spent some time as the trainer, was the official scorekeeper in a few games and performed as Big Jay during television timeouts. Anything is possible with this guy.


And finally and most importantly …

Kansas should be in the top three next year and a favorite to win the NCAA championship.

You read it here first. Kansas will make the Final Four and beat North Carolina for the championship. Bill Self will be Coach of the Year and make his first Final Four. Brandon Rush and Mario Chalmers will be All-Americans. And Julian Wright, on a missed alley-oop attempt, will be the first player ever to accidentally fly over the backboard at Allen Fieldhouse.

Next year should be a very good year in the Phog. Rock Chalk, Jayhawks!