Beggars and Choosers

Not long ago, I got the sudden urge to purchase Aliens, and headed to my local Wal-Mart to satisfy my strange, randomly placed, science fiction craving. Afterwards, as my friend and I made our way through the parking lot towards my car, we were approached by a gentleman who looked like a vagabond. As I was in the midst of explaining to my friend how Aliens is one of the best sequels ever made, and how Paul Reiser inexplicably plays an effective villain, and how I wasn’t a total sci-fi dork for purchasing the film, the vagabond-looking gentleman asked us for some money.

He explained that he had run out of gas (though I didn’t see his car) and that he and his son just needed five dollars to get their car back to their house - his young son was slowly and meticulously walking about twenty feet behind him. It was a chilly night, he had a child with him, and given the recent gas prices, I was more than sympathetic to help him out so he and his son could get home safely.

But then the doubts started to creep-in and a thousand questions started racing through my mind…

Does he really need the money for gas or does he just need to buy a six-pack of beer?
Should I go to his car and make sure he uses the money for gas?
Is that really his son or just a kid he was using to draw up compassion?
Is this a scam?
Do I want to look like a sucker?
Is he too lazy to get a job or does he really need help?
Does this story sound fishy or is it just me being cynical?

I had just bought a special edition DVD and a pack of Sour Patch Kids, so I could obviously afford to give this guy a helping hand - and I really wanted to. But as my mind was processing all those questions and doubts, I started to think about those countless news reports and articles, talking about how many homeless/beggars/vagabonds don’t actually need the money and have regular income streams, or how they choose the easier path of just being lazy.

Then I started to think about my friend Nicole - who spends many Thursday nights in the shady parts of downtown Denver, talking and spending time with the homeless – and how she tells me that so many of those people have addictions and beg for money just to feed those addictions.

So after quick deliberations, I told the vagabond-looking gentleman, “sorry, I don’t have $5.”

Thirty seconds later, I tossed a white plastic Wal-Mart bag into the back of my car, filled with a James Cameron classic and a bag of my favorite candy.

I lied. I had $5 (in cash, mind you) to give him – but I didn’t.

Not to sounds like one of those ridiculous holier-than-thou news pundits, but what does that say about the world, that I doubt the sincerity of someone asking for help? What does it say that every night I drive home from work; I stare at a guy begging for money on the highway off-ramp, and don’t give him any cash, because I doubt his true intentions?

I have worked hard to achieve the job and the income-level I enjoy; and I feel with those accomplishments comes a duty to help those who aren’t as fortunate as I am. For all the money I spend on trips to Las Vegas, beers while watching KU basketball games, movies I re-buy because I want them in DVD as opposed to VHS, certainly I can spare some of my income to those who don’t know where their next meal is coming from. I want to help – I truly do. But tragically, I don’t because a few bad apples have ruined the entire barrel.

Because of the immeasurable substance abuse addicts – I don’t give to the “average” street person. Because of countless scams – I don’t give to the vagabond who says he and his son need some gas money to get home. Because of laziness – I don’t give to the guy who asks “if I can spare a few bucks for a meal,” when he can get a job and food discounts working at McDonalds.

In so many cities they outlaw panhandling because it detracts from the quality of life. I can’t help but wonder if we’d still outlaw begging if the beggars actually needed our help. I don’t think we would. I doubt we would say it’s illegal to ask for aid if the person asking was sincere and genuine. It makes me sad that because of all of those people who have taken advantage of our generosity, that those who really need our help have a harder time receiving it.

Maybe it’s not my responsibility to monitor how a beggar chooses to spend my hard-earned money. Maybe I should have taken an extra five minutes to follow the vagabond to his alleged car and watch him put $5 worth of gas into his vehicle. Maybe I should let the homeless person’s conscience deal with the implications of a scamming me for a few bucks. And I know what a lot of you will say is: “if you really wanted to help, you’d find ways” i.e. shelters, soup kitchens, certain charitable organizations, etc. But helping shouldn’t be hard. I shouldn’t need to write checks, verify someone’s non-profit status or walk to someone’s car and physically watch them put gas in their tank, to know it’s legitimate. I should be able to reach into my pocket or roll-down my window, and give directly to those who are asking for my assistance. I should be able to give to a fellow human in need, without doubting their motives.

And it really bothers me that I can’t do that.