Finally, A New Post ...

Remember in Forrest Gump, when Jenny leaves Forrest (after they get-it-on which results in Forrest Jr. being born) and Forrest aimlessly walks around his house, staring at Jenny’s former bedroom, with this blank and heartbroken look on his face, having no idea what to do with his life; and eventually Forrest has to run across the U.S a half-dozen times before his heart heals and he can return home … Well, since my last post almost a month ago, I’ve been metaphorically and figuratively jogging around the country. Sadly, I wasn’t able to come up with any clever “Have a Nice Day” t-shirts or any cool slogans like “$hit Happens,” that would make me rich, but my time was well-spent nonetheless.

Being the Christmas season and all, I’m not going to delve into the unfortunate series of events that led to my “jog,” but lets just say that now I feel like Superman in Superman II when he finds that weird, glowing, green crystal and suddenly gets his superpowers back - after inexplicably giving them up for Lois Lane (nice job, lady – you fall in love with Superman and then make him give-up his superhero abilities … yep, Lois is your typical woman). So I feel great, and I’m ready to bend some metal, fly all around, wear a red cape, and do some writing.

Okay, so lets play a little catch-up (I apologize if I am a little rusty):

First, a big, Kathy Bates-sized thank you to everyone who emailed me and posted comments asking me to write again. You know who you are – THANK YOU! Your comments really meant a lot.

Secondly, in October, I wrote that my recent vacation schedule closely resembles a Super Bowl rotation; in that I keep vacationing to Chicago, Kansas and Vegas – just like the Super Bowl seemingly rotates through Miami, New Orleans and San Diego (which in German of course means whale’s vagina). Well, I went to Kansas in November, Chicago for Thanksgiving, and on the 31st, Ryan and I head to Vegas to celebrate New Years!!!

Please keep Ryan and me in your thoughts and prayers as we try our hardest to fend off long-term liver damage, a full-fledged gambling addiction, and as Jimmy Dugan once pontificated, “avoid the clap.”

Thirdly, after a two-year hiatus, I’m back on the dating scene. I’m like Michael Jordan returning to the NBA after he spent a few years in retirement and playing baseball. So be ready to read all about the fascinating dating world; as I try to get into mid-season form, work on my jump shot and defense, polish-up my highlight reel dunks, perfect my dribbling skills, and once again try to become the greatest player in the world. Okay, maybe I was never the dating equivalent of Michael Jordan, but you get my drift.

Fourth, did you know that the A.C in A.C. Slater from Saved by the Bell stands for: Albert Clifford? And that Goose’s full name from Top Gun is Nick Bradshaw?

Finally, have a wonderful Christmas and a happy New Year. In the omniscient words of “We Wish You A Merry Christmas,” I hope everyone “dons their gay apparel” and remembers to, “don’t go until you get some.” Be safe. Hug it out with your family members. And don’t forget to tell everyone you love, that you do in fact, love them.

I’ll be back on a regular writing schedule soon – so please stop by again soon!

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.