Random Brainstorming Rambling Thoughts

Anyone who has ever written anything: a short story, a poem, a blog, a grocery list, has written something along the lines of “random thoughts.” They may call it different names, like: ramblings, incoherent babble, brainstorming, or whatever, but they all have written some derivation of random commentary on life. As a writer, you can’t escape not writing it, it’s impossible. So, here is my contribution to the genre. My random thoughts on this day …

- In every Vince Vaughn movie there has to be at least one scene of him talking trash while playing a video game.

- Why won’t Wendy’s let you get your own refills?

- Speaking of fast-food, here’s a fun fact … I was reading on the In-n-Out Burgers Web site that their name originally was going to be: In-wait-wait-still wait-read the Bible verse at the bottom of your drink cup-wait-keeping waiting-n-Out Burgers, but that wouldn’t fit on their sign and most marking material, so they shorten it to, In-n-Out Burgers – isn’t that fascinating?

- Wearing sunglasses while playing poker is performance enhancing – no different than Barry Bonds taking steroids.

- Anyone planning on taking a Vegas trip should boycott the casino formerly known as Treasure Island. Madonna did a better job covering “American Pie” than MGM (Treasure Island’s owners) has done with “TI.” Whoever was responsible for replacing the sign, changing the name to TI, taking away the pirate battle and replacing it with “Sirens,” and making the inside as appealing as a Hays, Kansas martini bar, should be banished to hand-cleaning the Statue of David at Caesar’s Palace until they retire.

- On the road, is there any place truckers aren’t welcome?

- If NBA players are supposedly the best athletes in the world, why do they constantly travel? It’d be like me claiming to be the best writer in the world, yet having basic grammar mistakes in my writing. Don’t they teach you not to travel with the basketball in like 2nd grade? Or maybe it’s 3rd? Regardless, I’d have a lot more respect for their abilities if they didn’t take three and four steps every time they drive to the basket.

- Isn’t it fun how angry people from Illinois get when you pronounce the S in Illinois.

- In case you’re wondering, yes it is possible to overdose on Dots and still feel them in your stomach three days later.

- I really don’t like it when stores, like American Eagle for instance, ask you who or what you’re shopping for. It just rubs me the wrong way. I’m pretty sure this trend won’t stop at who I am shopping for either. Eventually they going to start asking me how long my inseam is? Or if I was hugged enough as a child? Or if I cried in Field of Dreams. Too intrusive for me.

- Speaking of too intrusive, please stop asking me who my cell phone carrier is when I walk by. You know who you are. Stop it!

- How cool would it be to have an alarm clock that plays “I Got You Babe” every morning?

- Since HBO is in the process showing Episode III: Revenge of the Sith every hour on the hour, I can’t help but feel embarrassed for the way George Lucas butchered Return of the Jedi and the most recent three films. I grew up on Star Wars and it really bothers me what he did to the franchise. Michael Jordan’s time on the Washington Wizard had more success than Lucas controlling his last four Star Wars projects. You take away the scene with Darth Vadar getting strapped into his Darth Vadar ensemble and one conversation between The Emperor and Anakin Skywalker while watching Cirque Du Soilel in Episode III, and all three movies were basically terrible. As Sonny said in A Bronx Tale, “the saddest thing in life is wasted talent.”

- Speaking of HBO, I want fans of Entourage to answer this question … Who would you rather sleep with, Turtle or Johnny Drama? Please consider both looks and personality.

- So, who did you have in your World Cup bracket, Angola or Serbia?

- Travelers beware! At Embassy Suites, in addition to the inflated room service prices ($22 for a shrimp cocktail, $104 and a credit check for a New York Steak, $17 for a side of ketchup), they charge an extra 15% service fee PLUS a $5 dollar clean-up fee. Who do they think they are, the oil companies? Unless you want to reenact certain scenes from Deliverance, I’d recommend not getting room service at an Embassy Suites. But it begs the question, what in the name of Clark W. Griswold does the already increased prices NOT cover that the extra 15% and extra $5 pay for??? (Yes, that was an appropriate time to use multiple question marks.)

- If you’re looking for any holiday gift ideas on Amazon this year, be sure to look up my first two published books, “Blackjack for Rednecks - Why You Don’t Hit on 16 When the Dealer is Showing a 6” and the follow-up book, “Just Because It’s a $5 Table, It’s Still Not Okay To Make Dumb Decisions.”

- The “Un-break My Heart” identify theft commercial may be the most annoying commercial of all-time. I am pretty sure I could break down anyone mentally just by replaying that commercial over and over and over again. I’d bet you I could make John McCain cry like David Hasselhoff at the American Idol finale, just by playing that commercial.

- Here’s a phrase you’ll never hear a guy say to another guy, “Lets spend the day together.”

- For as much doom-n-gloom we read in the paper each day: Iraq, immigration, the pending apocalypse, Brittany Spear’s reproductive habits, it’s refreshing for Bill Gates and Warren Buffet to show us that while money is great, there is only so much you can have, and there are far more valuable things than “dynastic wealth.” Warren Buffet’s philanthropic donation is the equivalent of giving $6 to every person on Earth. Amazing. Thanks Bill and Warren for the billion reminders on what’s truly important.