Do You Believe In Miracles?

“Can I get a Vodka-Tonic and a Sol?”

My best friend Ryan’s words to a bartender this weekend at 'The Soiled Dove' – perfect double meaning.

I spent a lot of time in the car on Saturday and heard those OnStar commercials about two and have dozen times over a six hour period. You know the ones where it’s an “actual” OnStar customer calling in to OnStar for some sort of vehicle assistance. Ever notice how it’s only women who keep locking their keys and children in the car. What gives? The men call OnStar for the police, sports scores and to order pizza. Women call OnStar because they keep locking their infant children and keys in the car. Nice job, ladies.

Isn’t it amazing how tumbleweed only bounces fast enough or slow enough across the highway to hit your car?

RETRACTION:
As it turns out, Ryan did encounter a bachelorette party in Casper, Wyoming two weekends ago - so his streak of consecutive bachelorette party weekends continue. Evidently, everyone in Casper marries by age 14 and 98% of the town is married, so it’s not uncommon to see one within city limits. Special thanks to Bryn Crowley for the demographic information regarding Wyoming.

I always hear that “childbirth is a miracle” … How can something that happens 1,000 times a day, everyday, for thousand of years, in every country in the world, with every species in the world – be considered a miracle? I am not saying that childbirth isn’t a special and wonderful experience (or taking away on how difficult childbirth is on the mother), but a miracle? A miracle is a supernatural act, not an everyday occurrence.

A month ago I wrote about Things I Want To Have Happen To Me That Only Happens In The Movies (http://theholeyourein.blogspot.com/2005/06/movie-things-i-want-to-have-happen.html)– here is one more you can add to the list:

I Want to Sit at a Small Local Bar and Tell the Bartender My Problems – Of course, this conversation will either take place in the day and he’ll remark that it’s too early in the day for me to be drinking, or it will be right before closing time after I have spent the entire day drinking and I totally look like Nicolas Cage from Leaving Las Vegas. I’ll tell him my problems and he’ll give me a shot that is on the house.

A League of Their Own was on Showtime for 1,543,753 time over the weekend which naturally begs the question, is it a chick flick or a sports movie?

Here’s another question, what’s the best type of post-meal burp? Yesterday, after eating a bowl of Lucky Charms, I let out a nice frosted oats and colored marshmallows burp. Ryan, standing nearby immediately identified my breakfast. After a few friendly words were exchanged, Ryan revealed to me that a post-sushi-burp is his favorite. Cereal-burps tend to be my favorite: Fruity Pebbles, Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Fruit Loops, to name a few. I would have to contend though a post-movie-theatre burp is probably my least favorite burp. There is nothing appealing about the post-buttered popcorn/peanut M&Ms/Coke taste.

In closing, I want to do something I am not totally comfortable doing … This weekend I had to say goodbye to someone who means a lot to me – more than I want to say on this blog or even admit to myself. I don’t really like to write and share touchy-feely stuff about my life, but this person is one of the most amazing people I have ever been lucky enough to spend time with. And I want to dedicate the below passage to that person - compliments of “Bill Parrish”, Anthony Hopkins’ character from Meet Joe Black:

“Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with?

Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find that person? Forget your head and listen to your heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived.

Love is trust, responsibility, taking the weight for your choices and feelings, and spending the rest of your life living up to them. And above all, not hurting the object of your love.”