Spam-Eater

One of my favorite subjects to write about is religion. This works well for me because my email in-box is constantly bombarded with Christian Spam, which gives me tons of topics. I often compose short retorts to the Spam (with the help of my friend Ryan), send them back to the person who sent it to me and encourage them to pass my reply along. My reason for doing this is not be confrontational, but rather because they are often filled with a lot of religious misinformation, that it literally terrifies me that so many people believe the information is true.

Below is a Spam email I recently received …

Sneeze
They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-two students filing into the already crowded auditorium. With rich maroon gowns flowing and the traditional caps, they looked almost as grown up as they felt. Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and Moms freely brushed away tears.This class would not pray during the commencements ----- not by choice but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it.

The principal and several students were careful to stay within the guidelines allowed by the ruling. They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families.The speeches were nice, but they were routine......until the final speech received a standing ovation.A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone. He stood still and silent for just a moment, and then, it happened. All 92 students, every single one of them, suddenly SNEEZED!!!!The student on stage simply looked at the audience and said, "GOD BLESS YOU, each and every one of you!" And he walked off stage...The audience exploded into applause. The graduating class found a unique way to invoke God's blessing on their future with or without the court's approval.Isn't this a wonderful story? Pass it on to all your friends.........and GOD BLESS YOU!!!!In God We Trust, United We Stand. This is a true story, just recently happening at the University of Maryland. It's inspiring.

I was going to write my own response to this email forward, but after doing some research, here is what really happened – compliments of http://www.snopes.com/ …a great fact-finding source regarding urban legends and myths.

The incident the e-mail is based upon took place on May 20, 2001 during the commencement exercises at Washington Community High School in Washington, Illinois. With the help of the ACLU, the family of Natasha Appenheimer, that year's valedictorian, brought suit to prevent the inclusion of the invocation and benediction traditionally given at the school's commencement ceremony. The suit was decided in the favor of the Appenheimers when, three days before the ceremony, the court handed down a temporary injunction barring the inclusion of the prayers on the basis of their having been deemed "school sponsored" (and thereby an unconstitutional violation of the first amendment's "establishment clause").

People were angered by the decision, which overturned a tradition of 80 years' standing at Washington Community High. Many found unique ways of protesting the judge's ruling. Before the ceremony, students organized a prayer vigil around the school's flagpole. Some 50 seniors clasped hands in a circle while about 150 underclassmen and members of the community encircled them. Several students festooned their mortarboards with religious slogans: "I'm praying now," "Amen," "1 nation under God," "I will still pray 2 day," and "Let's Pray 01." One parent distributed 120 homemade wood-and-nail crosses among the students.

Yet it was the act of Ryan Brown, a member of the graduating class who was scheduled to give a speech during the event that is now celebrated in the e-mail forward. As his form of protest, he had worked it out with a handful of friends that when he faked a sneeze at the podium, they were to cry out "God bless you." The plan was carried out as envisioned, with everyone who had been in on it playing their assigned parts. (Mr. Brown also made another protest on his way to the podium — he stopped to bow in silent prayer, an act that prompted the audience to stand and applaud. He replied to the crowd, "Don't applaud for me, applaud for God.")

With all the personal protests and media attention, it was indeed a memorable commencement, both for its religious fervor and for its display of commitment to certain ideals. In a defining moment that served to reveal the nature of the bone being fought over, the teen girl in whose name the suit had been brought was booed when she received her diploma.

Though the school had said it would contest the ruling that barred it from sponsoring prayer at its graduation ceremonies, it dropped such plans in July 2001 once it came to some appreciation of how much such a legal battle might cost.

A month after the commencement, the online account that is the meat of this article began to circulate. In that embellished version, the speaker's sneeze was cast as being accidental, and the response it provoked spontaneously and unthinkingly issued from each of the graduating students almost as if they had spoken with one voice. This marked a tremendous departure from the truth, as the actual sneeze had been faked and the benediction (which was pronounced by only those few of the graduating seniors who were in on the plan) had been scripted. There was no spontaneity to the act, no unwilled inescapable "at-choo!" that prompted the unpremeditated yet socially-obligated reply of "Bless you!"

That June 2001 fictionalization presented the sneeze and response as fortuitous accidents, and asserted that the whole graduating class imparted the blessing, which represented two major strayings from the truth. However, even with those meanderings off the path of veracity, this earlier account stayed far closer to the facts than did a 2004 version which switched the roles the students had played to make for better storytelling. In that version, 92 students all sneezed at once, and the one lone speaker blessed them. Here are the key sections of both stories:

[2001]
A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone. He stood still and silent for just a moment, and then he delivered his speech....an astounding SNEEZE!. The rest of the students rose immediately to their feet, and in unison they said, "GOD BLESS YOU."

[2004]
A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone. He stood still and silent for just a moment, and then, it happened. All 92 students, every single one of them, suddenly SNEEZED! The student on stage simply looked at the audience and said, "GOD BLESS YOU, each and every one of you!" And he walked off stage.

Obviously, it makes for a more satisfying tale of tables having been turned if the graduating class receives the blessing rather than bestowing it. The switched-role version also hints more strongly of a divine hand's having guided the event in that one speaker's sneezing could be chalked up to a random inhalation of dust motes, but 92 graduating seniors all erupting in an explosive sneeze at the same instant would probably require some assistance from the Almighty to bring about.

The newer version of this tale is more of a departure from reality, but both it and the earlier incarnation should be treated as fictionalizations by those committed to not bearing false witness — the truth inherent to the story of a sneeze shouldn't prevent them from appreciating the error of presenting either e-mailed version as gospel. In both cases, a whole lot of truth got mixed in with some falsehood, which is the generally accepted recipe for the most effective form of a lie.

Great information. It’s amazing what you can find out doing just a little bit of research. I wonder how many people re-tell this story as fact.

I do have a few comments of my own, though.

The lawsuit in question made no mention of eliminating God from graduation speeches (though the email says that it did), only that the entire school could not participate in an organized prayer. Students are/were more than welcome to speak of God in their own graduation speeches (the 1st Amendment gives them that right). What the school cannot do is force the other students to pray as part of commencement. See the difference? It’s a common misconception that eliminating organized prayer in public school means eliminating religion from public schools. It does not. You can speak of God in classroom discussions, you can organize a Bible Club, you can even pray before a test. What you cannot do is force your Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, atheists, etc. friends to pray to Jesus Christ before a test. That is the huge difference that too often Christians who write/forward emails like these fail to consider. Those who know me well, know I often pose this question to Christians as a response to topics like this one: how would you feel if you forced to pray to Muhammad or Buddha before you graduated from high school?

Here’s another story that was recently forwarded to me …

THIS IS A REALLY COOL STORY AND NOTICE AT THE END THE DATE THE CANDLE WAS STARTED. GONNA GIVE YOU GOOSE BUMPS.

I am not going to be the one who lets it die. I found it believable - angels have walked beside me all my life--and they still do (even when I didn't acknowledge them
or God).

A young university student was home for the summer. She had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked "God" to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a shortcut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped around her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question? Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, Because she wasn't alone.

She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

Moral of the story: Don't underestimate the power of Prayer!

Gives ya goose bumps, doesn't it!

This is to all of you who mean something to me, I pray for your happiness. This candle was lit on the 15th of September, 1998. Someone who loves you has helped keep it alive by sending it to you. Don't let The Candle of Love, Hope and Friendship die! Pass It On To All Of Your Friends and Everyone You Love!

May God richly bless you as you send this story on. Please keep this candle alive.

Since I love everyone, I thought I would share this tale. It’s a great story except there is no evidence to suggest it ever happened or is remotely true. There are no police records or court transcripts of such an event ever happening. Nor are there any newspaper accounts of the story. In fact, there is nothing to collaborate the validity of the email.

(If you want additional information, click on the link, http://www.snopes.com/glurge/rapestop.asp, it adds some great moral commentary regarding this story – definitely worth the time reading.)

One of the scariest parts about the Internet is that misinformation can flow so freely. One of the best parts about the Internet is that it is easy to do research and find the truth. That is what I tried to do here today – and I hope you enjoyed it and found it as interesting as I did.