NOT EVEN IN CONSIDERATION
Fools Rush In
A few basic things you don’t ever want to have happen in a Vegas movie:
1. The main character bitching about going to Vegas.
2. The main character impregnating a girl during a one-night stand.
3. The main character having to marry a casino cocktail waitress because she’s pregnant.
4. The two main characters’ parents meeting.
5. The climax of the movie occurring at the Hoover Dam.
Ugh.
GOOD BUT TOO DAMN DEPRESSING
Leaving Las Vegas
There is a lot to like about this movie: the title of the hotel where Nic Cage stays at (clue: it’s the name of this blog), the music, the humor in first 45 minutes, Elizabeth Shue’s breasts, and the combined sadness of Nic Cage’s and Elizabeth Shue’s characters. But, the movie is ridiculously melancholy, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing except you want a Vegas movie to get you pumped up about being part of the atmosphere that is Las Vegas. Unfortunately, Leaving Las Vegas makes you want to watch Schindler’s List and United 93 just to cheer up.
TWO REASONS WHY YOU DON’T BRING YOUR WIFE/GIRLFRIEND TO LAS VEGAS
Honeymoon in Vegas/Indecent Proposal
These movies came out within a year of each other (’92 and ’93 respectively) and pretty much feature the exact same plot and moral of the story – we call this Deep Impact/Armageddon Syndrome … which doesn’t make sense since Deep Impact and Armageddon came out after Honeymoon in Vegas and Indecent Proposal … so maybe it should be called Honeymoon in Vegas/Indecent Proposal Syndrome … Anyway, I’m rambling. Point is, don’t use your woman as collateral.
I’LL GET BACK WITH YOU ON THIS ONE
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
I was going to write a review about Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, but then I got high. I was going to see if it was a good Vegas movie that inspires me to embark on a series of fulfilling adventures, but then I got high. I was going to see if it made me want to see a Cirque Du Soleil show, but then I got high. Then I got high. Then I got high.
Bum and bum, bum, bum, bump.
DON’T EVEN THINK IT
Rain Man
It’s fundamentally wrong for Dustin Hoffman to be a leading man in a good Vegas movie. It’s a philosophical conflict of interest. Those two things just don’t go together. Sort of like Chris O'Donnell and convincing acting. Maybe if it was Christopher Walken counting cards, hitting on hookers, and learning how to dance at Caesar’s Palace, I’d feel differently, but it’s not, it’s Dustin Hoffman. You just can’t get past it – kinda like walking behind a fat person through a row of slot machines. Only Richard Dreyfuss could have hurt the Vegas-cred more than Dustin Hoffman.
CLOSE, BUT NOT ENOUGH
Go
As they said in the movie after their Vegas trip, “Just so we're clear, you stole a car, shot a bouncer, and had sex with two women?” Seems like some good ingredients for a Vegas movie, right? Unfortunately, the main characters also get food poisoning from eating shrimp at a buffet, almost burn down a hotel – hence ruining the aforementioned threesome, and stay at The Rivera. Ouch. But this is a really fun movie and if they just had a few more classic scenes and/or lines (like Swingers) I would have no problem putting them into the top five even though most of the movie takes place outside of Las Vegas.
Fools Rush In
A few basic things you don’t ever want to have happen in a Vegas movie:
1. The main character bitching about going to Vegas.
2. The main character impregnating a girl during a one-night stand.
3. The main character having to marry a casino cocktail waitress because she’s pregnant.
4. The two main characters’ parents meeting.
5. The climax of the movie occurring at the Hoover Dam.
Ugh.
GOOD BUT TOO DAMN DEPRESSING
Leaving Las Vegas
There is a lot to like about this movie: the title of the hotel where Nic Cage stays at (clue: it’s the name of this blog), the music, the humor in first 45 minutes, Elizabeth Shue’s breasts, and the combined sadness of Nic Cage’s and Elizabeth Shue’s characters. But, the movie is ridiculously melancholy, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing except you want a Vegas movie to get you pumped up about being part of the atmosphere that is Las Vegas. Unfortunately, Leaving Las Vegas makes you want to watch Schindler’s List and United 93 just to cheer up.
TWO REASONS WHY YOU DON’T BRING YOUR WIFE/GIRLFRIEND TO LAS VEGAS
Honeymoon in Vegas/Indecent Proposal
These movies came out within a year of each other (’92 and ’93 respectively) and pretty much feature the exact same plot and moral of the story – we call this Deep Impact/Armageddon Syndrome … which doesn’t make sense since Deep Impact and Armageddon came out after Honeymoon in Vegas and Indecent Proposal … so maybe it should be called Honeymoon in Vegas/Indecent Proposal Syndrome … Anyway, I’m rambling. Point is, don’t use your woman as collateral.
I’LL GET BACK WITH YOU ON THIS ONE
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
I was going to write a review about Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, but then I got high. I was going to see if it was a good Vegas movie that inspires me to embark on a series of fulfilling adventures, but then I got high. I was going to see if it made me want to see a Cirque Du Soleil show, but then I got high. Then I got high. Then I got high.
Bum and bum, bum, bum, bump.
DON’T EVEN THINK IT
Rain Man
It’s fundamentally wrong for Dustin Hoffman to be a leading man in a good Vegas movie. It’s a philosophical conflict of interest. Those two things just don’t go together. Sort of like Chris O'Donnell and convincing acting. Maybe if it was Christopher Walken counting cards, hitting on hookers, and learning how to dance at Caesar’s Palace, I’d feel differently, but it’s not, it’s Dustin Hoffman. You just can’t get past it – kinda like walking behind a fat person through a row of slot machines. Only Richard Dreyfuss could have hurt the Vegas-cred more than Dustin Hoffman.
CLOSE, BUT NOT ENOUGH
Go
As they said in the movie after their Vegas trip, “Just so we're clear, you stole a car, shot a bouncer, and had sex with two women?” Seems like some good ingredients for a Vegas movie, right? Unfortunately, the main characters also get food poisoning from eating shrimp at a buffet, almost burn down a hotel – hence ruining the aforementioned threesome, and stay at The Rivera. Ouch. But this is a really fun movie and if they just had a few more classic scenes and/or lines (like Swingers) I would have no problem putting them into the top five even though most of the movie takes place outside of Las Vegas.
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