So Much For My Happy Ending

Sorry for the delay in-between postings. I’ve been out researching why energy drinks only come in skinny, narrow cans and what the heck “dead skin on trial” means in the second verse of Green Day’s Good Riddance, a.k.a – The Time of Your Life – so I’ve been super busy. I’ll let you know when I get some definitive answers.

Here are some of totally unrelated thoughts for this Wednesday, the 27th of July, 2005 …

Does anyone have one of those friends who owns movies? And I’m not talking about someone with an extensive DVD library - I am talking about that person who if you mention how you want to see “The Muted Heart,” from that moment on you are obligated to see the movie first with that person; and if you don’t, they’ll get pissed at you? It’s like some sort-of movie marriage. Women are notorious for doing this.

Is there anything wrong with a 29-year old guy enjoying Avril Lavigne’s music? I don’t know … it just seems a little weird to me that a white collar professional from the Midwest would totally dig the music of a 20-year old skater-rocker-chick from Canada whose target audience is angry teenage girls. What does that say about me? For some damn reason her music just sounds good to me ... I have no excuses or justifications … and it’s totally embarrassing.

I accidentally sent a “good morning” email to the wrong person this morning. That was awkward. I was typing a little too fast and instead of sending an email to my Dad, I sent one to a very nice lady named, Barb, who pulls statistical information for me here at work. I don’t know Barb very well at all. The only conversations we’ve ever had are work-related. So the fact that I would ever send her a non-work-related email is strange enough, let alone a good morning email. This is Barb’s response to my random email …

Well, thank you...I have to admit I did not wake up in a very good mood today but this certainly helps!

Good morning back!

Not flinching and playing it cool, I wrote back saying how much I appreciate her hard work and help on proposals, and that I just wanted to thank her and wish her a good day. Wheewwww. That could have been a lot worse. Imagine if I had written to Barb how great she was last night and that I hadn’t felt that good since the last time I visited that discount Asian massage parlor. That could have been more embarrassing than liking Avril Lavigne’s song, “Happy Ending.” Hmmm, maybe there is a reason that in my Human Resources handbook they strongly suggest not using work email for personal reasons.

(Two Hour Time-Lapse)

Quick update on the Barb-email-situation: I just passed her on the way to the elevators and she was totally happy to see me. I think I just made a new friend. She told me about her night and vented about a few work issues. Wow - what an unintended benefit! Something tells me that the next time I need some stats, they are going to come back to me a little faster than before. Either that or she wants to have an affair.

Listening to music at work, I just heard Anne Murray’s, “Danny’s Song.” C’mon you know the one, “even though we ain’t got money, I’m so in love with you, honey.” (Hope that gets stuck in your head) That’s another song I am mildly embarrassed to like.

Is there anything more painful or inexplicable than the random leg cramp while you’re sleeping?

For those of you who live in the Midwest … still wonder if that whole global warming is a myth?

Don’t you love those restaurants that give you free soft-serve ice cream (Jason’s Deli and Dickey’s to name two)? A small sugar cone with some vanilla soft-serve is the perfect finale to most meals. Mmmmm. Eating soft-serve ice cream reminds me of my freshman year at KU - we used to walk from the cafeteria back to the dorms polishing off an ice cream cone before it succumbed to the humidity.

A guy I work with misuses the “schwing” from Wayne’s World on a consistent basis and it’s starting to get hilarious and uncomfortable at the same time. First, isn’t that saying about 10 years past its prime? Secondly, the women who hear him say “schwing” get that look on your face when you put one too many Sour Patch Kids in your mouth every time he says it – it’s a bizarre HR incident waiting to happen. Thirdly, I don’t think he knows what “schwing” actually means. Otherwise, he probably wouldn’t say it around females (he’s a professional) and he always uses it in the wrong context. For example, “we finally finished our work for the week, SCHWING!” I seriously doubt he is meaning to say that completing his work causes him to get an erection (at least I hope it doesn’t). Lastly, as a guy I am probably the most qualified to have an intervention with this person, and I am not prepared to have that conversation at this point. I’ve been hoping this problem would resolve itself, e.g. – he just stopped saying it, but after a two week hiatus, the saying is back and as disturbing as ever.

Ten traits that tell co-workers you used to be president or vice-president of a sorority back in college … 1) You attend every happy hour (often times planning the happy hour or leading the charge to have one). 2) You get drunk at every happy hour. 3) 80% of the time after the work happy hour is over, you go out with friends for a few more (or you are the last one to leave the happy hour). 4) You are slightly overweight due to alcohol consumption. 5) You dress nice at work. 6) You are in your mid-20’s and not married. 7) You have a chipper, borderline flirty personality. 8) You have blonde or light brown hair. 9) Most of your friends are guys. 10) You dated a lot of athletes during your college days.